Manipulate

It’s bedtime; naturally my children are manipulating me so as to stay up just a little bit longer. Tonight I’ve threatened to put Coop in timeout (in every imaginably horrible spot in the house) if he gets out of bed. And yet, he’s been scooting around trying to pull one over on me. Like I can’t hear the little mouse sneaking around.

Just minutes ago I scared him right out of his pajamas, so it’s all worth it. While he was supposedly down for the night I slipped into Mason’s room to see why Mason was still crying. (As soon as I appeared to rub his back he stopped crying.) Rubbing Mason’s back through the crib slats I look through the cracked door to notice Cooper sneaking past and trying to spy into Mason’s room. I say in a low but stern whisper, “Get back in bed Cooper!” He stopped dead in his tracks and looked around bewildered. He could not see me and could not figure out a) how I could see him, b) where I was.

Immediately I had recollections of listening to Bill Cosby’s Noah and Ark skit. (This was one of my dad’s favorites, and thus one of mine.) So, I continue to ham it up. “Cooper, this is Mommy, I can see you. Go back to bed.” At this point he’s really freaked out and looking all around. Also giddily whispering, “Where are you?!?!?” His truly baffled look is cracking me up and I literally can’t control my laughing.

Through hysterical laughter I say, again, “Go back to bed.” The nervous energy takes over Cooper and he begins rapidly shuffling his feet, covers his little grin with his excited fingers and squeals, “Where are you?” I take a half step forward – out of the darkness – and press my face up against the crack in the door and bellow, “Get back in bed.”

The poor kid nearly fainted. He was so freaking scared. And that, my friends, is what parents live for. All fun aside, I still made him go to timeout for another 3 minutes. Which reminds me, I haven’t heard either of them stir for about… oh I’d say 26 lines of copy… so I better go see if their bedrooms are either a) up in flames, b) smeared in diaper ointment. You just never know.