My Mas has a tender heart. The colder it gets outside, the warmer his compassion fires. Passing the frozen golf course pond he cooed, "You know, I wish I could save one of those duckies from the golf course."
As a mother adverse to animal poo, I was reticent to ask how.
But he said, "I would just catch 'em and then ... ummm... wrap 'em up in my bed."
Oh lord, may I survive his charity.