Por Que?

I have a few brothers. In fact, more than most. But my point is a couple of them speak Spanish. The youngest of these has grown a sudden interest in teaching my children Spanish. Now let me qualify this statement. He's not actually speaking to them in Spanish. He is sending them a few Spanish flash cards in the mail every few days or so.

My boys think this is cool. But when the first package arrived Cooper simply said, "Why?"

Each stack of cards has been met with varying responses. Once they got over their bewilderment, the first stack was taken to a playdate and promptly forgotten about, and consequently left at said playdate.

The second stack got colored on.


The third stack has been organized, and organized, and organized. Here is another statement I have to qualify. My children like to tell me they are organizing. Seriously. I think they use it as an excuse to not clean. "Mom, I can't pick up my LEGOs, I'm organizing them." Big nightmare if you ask me.

But in the case of the cards, the most recent stack of them anyway, Mason has been organizing them -- which is to say lining them up -- around him.

The big question is, are they getting it? No. Could be because my Spanish is limited to one phrase that my dear friend Angenette (Netti) once told me, "No me moleste! Estoy Ocupada." I'm not really sure I'm spelling that right. And I'm also not sure I remember what it means. Something about don't bother me, I'm busy. The other big question, do they like the cards? Yes.


Except for the one for bebe. Someone really should have told Conan O'Brien it was a bad idea to pose for Spanish flash cards. It's downright creepy.

First Conversation I Never Want to Have Again

Big moment in history today. Cooper helped Steve mow the lawn, for the first time. He followed it up with plunging headlong into his first serious birds-and-the-bees question.

Coop: Mommy how did you get us?

Me: What do you mean? (Is that a hive I feel?)

Coop: How did you and Steve get me and Mason?

Me: Ummmmmmm. (It's hot in here. I'm hot, are you hot?) We grew you.

Mason: (Whips head around sharply.) What!?!??!

Me: Why are you asking me this? (Are my rings getting tight? Are the walls moving in?)

Coop: When are you going to grow some more boys?

Me: Oh! I'm not going to grow anymore boys. (Mason is still staring me down.)

Mason: Why?!?!!?

Me: Uhhhhh...

Coop: What is 1000 plus 1?

Me: 1001 (Phew! I got one right.)

My Kids Say Weird Stuff

At lunch Cooper abruptly grabbed his nose and said, "Ow ow ow ow!"

I asked, "What's wrong? Gotta a booger in there?"

He replied, "No! I think my heart is in my nose."

Please note, come back and visit because I got pictures of him grabbing him nose. Just haven't downloaded them off the camera, yet.

And then...

The only thing more excruciating than listening to my son tell a knock-knock joke is listening to him recount his dreams. Actually both boys do it. Mason with a brief but excited, "Mom I had a big dream." Usually he interjects something else about spiders and we're good to return to our breakfast.

But Cooper, well he's mastered the art of making the retelling of the dream last as long, if not longer, than the actual dream itself. Who knew the unimpressive literary device of, "and then" would have such an impact on my life.

Coop: Mom I had a dream.

Me: Really? Oh I can't wait to hear about it.?

Coop: It was a Wii dream. I was playing Wii and daddy didn't know and then...

Me: (Nod my head look interested.)

Coop: Mom, mom, mom, I was with darth malls and then...

Me: (Nod my head look interested.)

Coop: I could drive my bed and then...

Me: You could drive your bed? What do you mean? Like it was a car?

Coop: No I could drive it in the sky and then...

Me: (Nod my head look interested.)

Coop: I had a dream about our new gym in our state, is that cool?

Me: Absolutely cool.

Coop: And then Mason was in there (looks at Mason as if to say, "remember?") and then...

Me: (Nod my head look interested. Mason also nods his head and then looks at me, too.)

Coop: Mason was blinking his eyes like this (uses his hands to demonstrate) closes and then opens and then closes and then opens...

Me: You know Coop, I get the picture.

Coop: Well I can't remember the next part. But it was a really long dream. Isn't that cool?

Me: Oh my gosh. Yes. Thanks for sharing. Make sure to remember tonights dream. I want to hear all about it tomorrow.

PS -- This is actually a dream Cooper told me about in the car. Because, you know, Wyoming isn't boring enough.

PHOTO NOTE: I feel that I should explain the picture. Cooper sleeping at his grandma's house, on the floor. We made a King-sized bed for them and Coop wedged himself against the pillows and Mason is up there in the corner (hard to see him) on the floor. Weird ducks.

A Few Cookie Breaks and We're Home

Everyone (in this country, anyway) has their own way of celebrating Memorial Day. Did you do something fun? Here's what we did.

8:42 a.m.
On the road after sitting in Grandma's driveway for 15 minutes picking the "in-flight movies". The children are illogically chipper after a terrible night's sleep. Mason was up twice. First telling us his foot hurt -- he hurt the other one jumping off the bed. Then two hours later he had rolled underneath the bed. But anyway, where's the Starbucks.

8:56
Finally, 32 oz. of coffee! Seriously, 16 for him and 16 for me.


9:36
Cooper asks, "Why do we die forever?"
Ahhhhhh, Steve and I stare at each other and literally have no response. Cooper continues, "In my dreams police officers don't kill anyone on the bad side."
Ahhhhhhh, Let's have cookies!


9:40
First cookie break. For the record, none of us has had breakfast, yet.

9:44
Cooper and Mason experience their first "if a train leaves the station traveling" math problem. We speed alongside the train, we're obviously going faster. But the boys both think the train is going faster. Dear God, if it would be OK... Can you make sure my kids are better at math than I was?


10:52
Stop at Little America for brunch. For some reason Mason declares he has to go pee. This from the little man that I know wears diapers just so he doesn't have to stop playing to relieve himself. But, no time like the present to jump on the toilet training train. Once in the bathroom he starts to get a little nervous, much to the delight of our stall neighbors.

Mom: OK Mas, will you go pee if I lift you up (facing the toilet)?
Mas: No, that's scary.
Mom: Will you sit on the potty?
Mas: No, I want to go backwards.
Mom: But you can't reach.
Mas: This is scary. I don't want to.
Mom: Come on, it's not that big of a deal, I'm holding you. You won't fall in.
Mas: No. Too scary. I don't want to.

So, whatever. People are laughing at us. Let's wash our hands and eat, already. (You may notice an edge of impatience. Just ignore it.)

Over breakfast Cooper asks why they (he and Mason) are in pajamas but we (mom and dad) are in "play clothes". In a stroke of genius I explain to him that no one wants to see either my husband or me in pajamas. And Cooper says (to my husband), "Oh yeah, cuz when you wear your pajamas you're naked, right?" True statement.


11:52
We switch drivers and brace ourselves for the thrice accursed portion of the drive. While we're gassing up I point out a livestock truck and trailer to the boys and tell them it can carry cows or pigs. And Cooper -- in a panic I might add -- says, "But not dinosaurs!" Right. No dinosaurs, son.


NOON
It begins to rain. And I might add, the rest of this post is pretty boring because the drive was pretty boring. We didn't see anything -- except for the severed head of an antelope on the side of the road -- and Mason slept for about 2 1/2 hours. So, it was intervals of boredom, rain and heavy, heavy sighs from the backseat. Have I before mentioned that Cooper has a predilection for theatrics?

3:40 p.m.
Stop for gas and sanity in Laramie. We switch drivers and start chugging the Mountain Dew. It's evil, but necessary. The requests to get home are escalating.

3:42
Cooper asks, "Are we almost there?"
Both Steve and I give a stern, "No!"
But persistent little Cooper asks, "Do I need to count to 60? Two times? 1000 times? How many?"

5:17
Cooper falls asleep after eating his weight in goldfish. He misses our drive through beautiful downtown Denver.

Home, again. Home, again.

Speed Ahead

We're home. I know, I'm grossly behind on updating every thing from my facebook page to my blog. I'll work on that tomorrow. But to give you a taste of some of the antics ahead...


Cooper piped up from the backseat, "Hey mom, when I grow up I think I want to be a motorcycle driver."

And there you go, another fine career choice. Remind me, why do we have 529s?

Persevere

We're on the road, so quick updates for now...

In a busy moment of getting ready for our roadtrip Mason asked me to find one of his LEGO guys. I apologized told him I didn't know where it was.

He stomped his foot, stuck out his lip, dropped his chin to his chest and said, "Don't just give up, Mom!"