A Few Cookie Breaks and We're Home

Everyone (in this country, anyway) has their own way of celebrating Memorial Day. Did you do something fun? Here's what we did.

8:42 a.m.
On the road after sitting in Grandma's driveway for 15 minutes picking the "in-flight movies". The children are illogically chipper after a terrible night's sleep. Mason was up twice. First telling us his foot hurt -- he hurt the other one jumping off the bed. Then two hours later he had rolled underneath the bed. But anyway, where's the Starbucks.

8:56
Finally, 32 oz. of coffee! Seriously, 16 for him and 16 for me.


9:36
Cooper asks, "Why do we die forever?"
Ahhhhhh, Steve and I stare at each other and literally have no response. Cooper continues, "In my dreams police officers don't kill anyone on the bad side."
Ahhhhhhh, Let's have cookies!


9:40
First cookie break. For the record, none of us has had breakfast, yet.

9:44
Cooper and Mason experience their first "if a train leaves the station traveling" math problem. We speed alongside the train, we're obviously going faster. But the boys both think the train is going faster. Dear God, if it would be OK... Can you make sure my kids are better at math than I was?


10:52
Stop at Little America for brunch. For some reason Mason declares he has to go pee. This from the little man that I know wears diapers just so he doesn't have to stop playing to relieve himself. But, no time like the present to jump on the toilet training train. Once in the bathroom he starts to get a little nervous, much to the delight of our stall neighbors.

Mom: OK Mas, will you go pee if I lift you up (facing the toilet)?
Mas: No, that's scary.
Mom: Will you sit on the potty?
Mas: No, I want to go backwards.
Mom: But you can't reach.
Mas: This is scary. I don't want to.
Mom: Come on, it's not that big of a deal, I'm holding you. You won't fall in.
Mas: No. Too scary. I don't want to.

So, whatever. People are laughing at us. Let's wash our hands and eat, already. (You may notice an edge of impatience. Just ignore it.)

Over breakfast Cooper asks why they (he and Mason) are in pajamas but we (mom and dad) are in "play clothes". In a stroke of genius I explain to him that no one wants to see either my husband or me in pajamas. And Cooper says (to my husband), "Oh yeah, cuz when you wear your pajamas you're naked, right?" True statement.


11:52
We switch drivers and brace ourselves for the thrice accursed portion of the drive. While we're gassing up I point out a livestock truck and trailer to the boys and tell them it can carry cows or pigs. And Cooper -- in a panic I might add -- says, "But not dinosaurs!" Right. No dinosaurs, son.


NOON
It begins to rain. And I might add, the rest of this post is pretty boring because the drive was pretty boring. We didn't see anything -- except for the severed head of an antelope on the side of the road -- and Mason slept for about 2 1/2 hours. So, it was intervals of boredom, rain and heavy, heavy sighs from the backseat. Have I before mentioned that Cooper has a predilection for theatrics?

3:40 p.m.
Stop for gas and sanity in Laramie. We switch drivers and start chugging the Mountain Dew. It's evil, but necessary. The requests to get home are escalating.

3:42
Cooper asks, "Are we almost there?"
Both Steve and I give a stern, "No!"
But persistent little Cooper asks, "Do I need to count to 60? Two times? 1000 times? How many?"

5:17
Cooper falls asleep after eating his weight in goldfish. He misses our drive through beautiful downtown Denver.

Home, again. Home, again.