When it's a holiday and I do something like, serve hot cocoa or ask the kids to play games I wonder if it will become a thing. You know, like a tradition thing. And then we'll have to do it year after year after year. And then I worry, is it good enough to carry on, pass along, talk about?
And who really knows. Traditions are weird. I thought I had a bunch of Christmas traditions established. But this year, we didn't do a single one of them. In fact, Coop asked me if we could observe Hanukkah next year.
I've always believed that Christmas Eve is the very best day of the entire November through January extravaganza no known as The Holidays. I've tried to make that night special and I've
prepared for it in a different way each year. But now I'm really trying to determine what expectations I'm setting.
I tend to look at everything through the myopic eye of mother's guilt. If we sit down to a night of games I wonder if what the family will want to carry over the following year is the night of playing games, the actual game we played, the popcorn and trail mix we ate, or the matching pajamas we wore. What resonated with them?
Will the kids in time discover that by re-enacting these nights in matching pajamas, or eating popcorn we are grasping at the closeness of family? The wondering and the worrying is making me crazy.