Tuesday, January 4, 2011
How long do you think a 4-year-old can hold out while staring down the foil wrapper of a chocolate bar?
Sadly we'll never know because I snatched this sucker up and ate quite a bit of it myself before stashing it in my chocolate hiding place. That's right, I've got one. It's right by... on second thought... where it is, is none of anyone's business.
There is also a hiding place -- known only to my husband -- that conceals the candy that was in my Christmas stocking. He graciously lets me open my stocking, eat a little bit, and then hides the rest for me. He knows I want him to hide it. In fact, I accidentally found the stash the other day and screamed for him to save me and re-hide the stash before I inhaled it.
Then I also have piles of candy in plain sight. This is for my own torture. Mostly it's Crunch bars and Tootsie Rolls left over from Halloween. No one around here wants them. But they mysteriously disappear in a moment of weakness. Here's the thing with my will power. It is absolute. As in, if there is something I want I eat absolutely all of it.
If you have a resolution to eat or drink less of anything this year -- I wish you good luck. I really do.
PS -- I've actually tested the self-devised theory of eating so much chocolate you make yourself sick and then never touch the stuff again. Theory is built around the same concept of people waking up after a night of drinking WAY TOO MUCH and swearing they will never drink alcohol, again. Or those folks who can't see or smell Jägermeister, Goldschläger, or Midori without turning green. It's a great theory. Turns out, try as I might, I cannot seem to meet required consumption threshold to sicken on chocolate.