Thursday, March 29, 2007

Cooperman's Superman -- BFI trash collector

Today was a big day, as is every Thursday. Today was trash collection day. I've told many of you how much my oldest son loves garbage. Some of you don't believe me. Let me share a few scenarios that will drive the point home.

Cooper has to go to the doctor every once in a while for lung check ups and whatever. So, he's pretty familiar with his doctor. One day he told me he needed to go to the doctor. I asked him, "What's your doctor's name." He replied, "Dr. Tiegs," and I added, "and Dr. Mason." He actually has a doctor named Dr. Mason, but Cooper thought I was making reference to his little brother Mason. So Cooper began reciting, "Dr. Tiegs, Dr. Mason," then got a wide grin on his face and pointed to himself and said, "Dr. Cooper." I asked, "Do you want to be a doctor?" He immediately fired back, "No, I want to be a garbage man!"

Most kids say... Fireman... vet... doctor... nurse... lawyer... superhero... But my kid, he says TRASH MAN! I've come to terms with this because Cooper's love for our trash collectors has made it pretty much impossible to miss trash collection. You know the feeling when you're stumbling to find your shoes and race to the garage in time to pull the cans to the curb before the big rumbling, grunting, gurgling truck motors past you. Then the obnoxious, emphases on noxious, fumes build up in your garage for another week because you missed the boat... or truck. I don't have to worry. My trash guys love my son so much they actually walk up to the garage and carry my cans to the curb for me! They stop and wave and talk to Coop. They even let him go up really close and watch them smash the trash. This is such a pleasing olfactory experience. In Cooper's eyes, trash collectors are second only to daddy in stature and heroism.

I know what you're thinking... Are you sure he loves trash? Positive. The librarians at Lone Tree Library are so aware of Cooper and his obsession with garbage that they actually had him in mind when they made recent book acquisitions. Titles include: Smash, Mash, Crash, There Goes the Trash; Trashy Town; Hush Little Digger; and I Drive a Garbage Truck. All favorites. Coop has memorized all three and literally "reads" them to himself. God Bless the author of this line, "I dumped it in, I smashed it down, I LOVE to clean up trashy town." And thanks to this line, "In the morning Mr. Guilly [trash collector] puts on his heavy gloves," I was able to bribe Cooper into picking up all the pinecones in the yard. For a new pair of "heavy gloves" he picked up every fallen pinecone! His first legitimate chore with reward.

Now to answer the age-old question, "What's with the boogers?" Cooper, and Mason, have the snottiest noses. We've tried everything including a pediatric allergy specialist to get to the bottom of the boog factor. But, to no avail. The kid -- Cooper -- just oozes green stuff. Every picture, and I do mean every picture includes snot. Could be slimy snot, rock snot, green snot, lots of snot, nativity scene snot... you name it, Coop's got snot. Mason's not so bad. But in a house where we run through tissue from costco by the pallet, bound to be a little snot from the little squirt, too.

You'll all be happy to know that I shaved 15 minutes off bedtime tonight. In bed, and asleep by 10:30! Woot woot. Still lots of screaming and squealing, but no crying. That's a move in the right direction. Now let's just hope I don't find him in the morning asleep in the middle of the living room floor, again.

PS -- Trent, Cooper scored his first TMNT at McDonalds' today. And I promptly executed mom mistake number 12,349. I thought another kid was stealing his turtle -- the two were scuffling over one -- and I meddled, only to find out Cooper was the thief. Boy did I feel stupid.

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