Saturday, January 16, 2010
Mommy's Little Helper
I'm just going to admit that on occasion my jeans are a little tight in one or two areas. Because I have to get over this part of myself so that you can enjoy the embarrassment into which I was recently lead. So, hypothetically, let's say my pants were a bit tight around the middle. In said scenario, it left a bit of a mark, like a sheet mark, where my excess chubbiness was strategically tucked into my pants. Get over the gross factor because we're just talking about red, pleated, excess skin.
Perhaps because my jeans were a bit tight, perhaps because I love shopping, perhaps because I had 2 hours to lug around only one kid, instead of two, I decided to go shopping for jeans. Whatever the reason, I found myself in a dressing room with approximately seven pairs of seriously overpriced jeans and Mason. As soon as I managed to pull too-tight jeans off, Mason gasped and said (loudly enough for all in dressing area to hear), "Oh mommy, do yous have a rash on yous butt?!?!?!"
Now again, from a purely speculative position would you...
a. Yell over the dressing stall, "Someone left their kid in here. Any takers?"
b. Resolve to muzzle child in public.
c. Leave all jeans and child on floor of dressing room and run like hell.
Frankly, I don't see that any of those plans of action are mutually exclusive.