Tuesday, March 10, 2009

What Do You Say To That

Harumph. The dreaded days of, "Please excuse my son. I don't think he really meant to offend you with what he just said." have started. Let me share how I've been rudely ushered into this stage of life.

Shopping for shoes. (They're damned cute I might add.) As we make to leave the boys kinda ran through the door and under a woman who had some interesting proportions. She wasn't heavy all over, just very much in the front -- but not in the great with child kind of way. She was sweet to the boys and smiled, despite their rambunctious way of cutting her off. Coop looked up and then ran back to me. As soon as the large lady was out of earshot (thank goodness) he said to me, "Whoa, that lady had a really big belly." Everyone else that was standing in line to purchase shoes and working the counter heard. I felt really hot in the face.

Less than two hours later, we parked our weary little selves -- tired from a day of shopping -- on a cushy couch in the mall. On the couches next to us sat a family of three African-American adults. Coop took note and pointed directly at the man and asked me (loudly), "What's his name, the one with the black face?" On the surface, NOT as bad as it could have been -- except for the pointing and the blurting out "black face" -- but I was hot crimson because I knew he was actually trying to quiz me. To see if I recognized, who else, Barack Obama.

I just stood up, smiled at the family and murmured something about, "He's just so curious about everyone he sees." Then in my blinding embarrassment I ran the stroller smack into their couch. Seriously, when am I going to outgrow my klutzy-ness. Then I had to say, "Excuse me, I'm driving this thing under the influence of cookies. Heaven forbid I should put it down to steer this boat." Then waived my $3 vegan Nordstrom cookie in front of them as proof. Shoot. Me.


laurel said...

Pretty funny for us but embarrassing for you. I have been there and done that too. For example, "You smell like smoke." "Why do you eat so much"....a mother could go on and on. Like the comback with the cookie. A good cookie can be a good excuse for a lot of things!

The Martell Family said...

I just bought some new shoes myself today, but I'm envious because you're probably shopping in Lone Tree at Park Meadows, and not in Dubai like me! We miss you guys and can't wait to see you in April. Jack asks me daily when he will be getting a play date with Cooper.

I can relate to the kid comments. I've been there too!! At least you didn't hit THEM with the stroller, only the coach they were sitting on!

Anonymous said...

Too funny, I have been spared mostly by my 3rd child as he doesn't talk to strangers yet!

Glenda said...

But it was Laurel who asked my mother many years ago when she saw a black man in her father's store, "Why is that man burned?"

Glenda said...

And....I actually asked a long time friend of mine when I saw her at the mall several years ago, "I didn't know you were pregnant.?" And she responded, "I'm not." Much, much worse!!!!

lynnie said...

I did the same thing as Glenda to one of my clients ! Now I just - try not to make ANY comment except ----- " Looking fabulous today." (sometimes I will even try to trick myself while looking in the mirror first thing in the morning ....." LOOKING FAB!")