Friday, September 19, 2008

The Finer Points of Pirattitude

Avast, me hearties! It's a little known fact that today is National Talk Like a Pirate Day. In celebration I served Pirate's Booty organic treats. This is just a high-priced way to make suburban moms feel better about feeding their kids Cheetoz made out of spinach and kale, rather than boiled fat. The product line includes:

Simply Booty
Pirate's Booty
Barbeque Booty
Veggie Booty
Pirate's Swords
Soy Crisps

AND....
Pirate's Canon Balls

Or as my buccaneers call them, Pirate's Balls. I served the balls up for lunch today.


In other horrifying news, I will be winning the award for ridiculous mother skills. I am sharing this with great trepidation, so don't judge me. And please, please, please let your kids come play at our house despite reading the following.

We had two extra kids at our house today. In the late afternoon I had everyone outside kicking the soccer ball around the yard and looking for crickets. Then Cooper up and decides to go inside and go poop. This isn't the first time he's decided to relieve himself during a play date. After about 15 minutes I was beginning to wonder if he was going to come back outside. I decided to go check on him.

The rascal locked us out! That's right. He locked his mother and his friends outside in the yard! Locking his sleeping brother and himself inside. I didn't want the other kids to be scared, so I just kept them entertained with soccer as I nonchalantly walked around the house to see if there were any alternate ways in. I noticed that some of the window latches were switched in the opposite direction and figured this meant they were unlocked. Then I spotted a neighbor drive by. I asked him to come help me break into my house.

O.M.G.

So, we crawled in the house through the window and found that Cooper had fallen asleep! To be clear there were only about 15 minutes when my kids were locked inside and I was locked outside with the other children. And for the record I think my children were at greater danger as they weren't directly supervised. But still... horrifying.

Don't judge me.

5 comments:

Glenda said...

That is hysterical...and makes me want to say...see, it isn't easy being the mother!

Anita said...

I'm just glad it wasn't MY kids locking you out of your house.

laurel said...

Haa haa haa haa haa haa haa haa!!!! So glad to hear it happened to you. Now I know I am not the only one. Hang in there girl, this isn't the last time.

Elle said...

OMG. I would freak too but that could happen to anyone. I wouldn't be surprised if it happened to me someday. On purpose.

Adamo said...

When Andrew was pre-elementary mom used to take him to this ridiculous day care when she worked at the office. When mom got out of the car and walked around to get him out he locked himself in the car. They tempted him with candy bars and treats, and the story goes he just smiled and shook his head "no."