I did not widely share this fear with many people before because I was freaked out that people would judge me -- or worse give me all kinds of "mother" advice. But now I'm ready.
When I was pregnant with my second child I worried that I would not be as good of a mother to two kids as I was to one kid. With one I really considered myself on top of my game. I took Cooper everywhere. He had me all to himself (when he had me -- I still worked back then).
Mason has never known that life. He has had to share everything, like it or not. Coop was first and Mason was last and that was that. Not much I could do but worry. And worry I did. Right up until this week. With Cooper out of the house I've watched and waited to see a difference in Mason. Let me just say that he has not missed Cooper. At least he hasn't expressed it in a way that has been obvious to me.
He has played quietly by himself for hours. I'm convinced he really likes it. There's been no fighting and only a couple time outs (for disrespectful shouting of, "Mommy!" and "NO!". Let's just say I was feeling like the A game was busting out again. So, I decided I'd take Mas to the zoo, solo. I wanted to let him see what it's like to have me all to himself.
It was the first zoo trip in 2 years in which I didn't have total heartburn that I was going to loose one or both children. Mason wandered and I followed, it was as easy as that. There was a little problem on the carousel, however. As soon as the ride started Mason screamed so loud that the ride operator stopped the whole ride and got on the loud speaker and invited us to get off. I'm glad she did because Mason was SO upset.
After the ride we found more peaceful pursuits. Chasing the peacocks. Watching the bees. After 2 hours of zoo I asked Mason if he wanted to go home and he said yes. Easy. The King did not become a royal pain until later tonight. We attended a birthday party and for the first 10 minutes he stood at the door begging to go home. Then he continued to shout, "Mommy!" at me like he was from Jersey. I was so embarrassed. Now my only fear is that my "baby" will act like an only child forever.
4 comments:
I am so there. It was like you wrote what has been on my mind. I think it's hugely more difficult raising two kids than one, especially when they are so close in age like ours are. At least it is right now. Hopefully, it will go in the complete opposite direction when they get older.
For as much as I love my kids interacting with each other when it's all good, I love my one-on-one time with each kid. I feel like a much better mommy. A more fun mommy to be around and a much more patient one too. I feel like I could win Mommy of the Year award during those times. I notice my kids are much more tame and happier when they have that individual time with me.
I know you think I must be crazy to think I can relate to this, since I am the mother of 5. But, I remember feeling exactly the same way when I was in the hospital after having #2. Dad and I were talking about stopping at a fast food place on the way home and it occured to me, "It won't be just the 3 of us, it has always been the 3 of us, how are we going to add one more?" It was if Trent became an intruder on our little threesome. Of course, we did, and then we kept doing it, over and over again. Being a mother to 1 is much easier...but being the mother to more is more joyful!
You guys have more birthday parties around there. You must have to buy gifts in bulk!
How sweet! I love having one on one time with my kids individually. It doesn't happen often with the older ones. You know a shopping trip here and there. I really like it tho' when the oldest goes to school leaving the younger home alone for those few hours. Each of my kids have had me alone for at least one or two school years. Kinda nice. I really think Mas is so beautiful. He just is so darling and has such a peaceful look on his face. I am sure that look was gone when he was yelling mommy at the party.
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