FBSG: The Field Trips

Every Fall Break adventure should be sprinkled with field trip. That is not to say you should take your children somewhere new every day they are on break. This will exhaust them. It also sets you up for disaster once summer comes. Those little brains of theirs remember that load of activity and will expect it all. Summer. Long. Do yourself a favor and be mediocre during Fall Break.

We had 5 trips a field. This sounds like a lot over 10 days, but two of the trips were actually repeat locations.

Trip No. 1: The Zoo

I had the pleasure of being invited to join some other mothers and their sons to the zoo on the first day of break. This was a herd of 2^nd grade-kindergarten boys and four moms. There were a lot of boys. As is our lot in life, we live 17 miles away from the zoo. Once boys were loaded, we’d driven the 30 minutes, and found a parking spot, and renewed our zoo membership to the tune of $100, the sky – which had been forecast to be 70 degrees and sunny – turned cloudy and black. We even felt a few drops.

While I’d like to say we are usually very prepared for this type of thing, the only coat in the car was mine. So, I marched myself right into the gift shop and bought sweatshirts for everyone. I then got sucked into buying huge stuffed animals. It was like a whole thing. Blah!

Please note how large my kindergartner is (on left end).

The next few hours were enjoyable. The boys were with their friends. I was with mine. And we didn’t loose anyone. Have you ever noticed there is a time limit on such peace? Someone in the group of 8 starts to whine a little bit and complain of hunger, the lead dogs start to stray a little farther from the group, the pensive observers start to linger a little longer at each exhibit and you can tell the end is near. This is when I decided to call it quits. Call me a party pooper but I can tell when I’m about to yell at my kids and I don’t want to do that in front of people, so I left.  Everyone should know when to leave.

Trip No 2: Haunted Party Shop

All of the costumes in our house were decided but we were missing some parts and pieces. Before I plunged into trying to sew something before Halloween we decided to visit a costume shop in Old Towne Littleton.  It was super creepy. Mason’s heart rate soared and he was trembling and he had to be carried in. (Yes, we’re those parents.) Once inside he relaxed and cozied up to the deli case filled with body parts. My husband and I jumped our original costume ship and decided on new ones on the spot. Then we procured a few of the small things we needed for the kids’ costumes. I’m totally looking forward to showing off those pictures next week.

Trip No 3: Lifetime Fitness Swimming Pool

I’m always in favor of killing two birds with one stone. Remember the request to go swimming? When another mom friend of mine asked what our plans for Fall Break were (I think she was trolling for ideas) I confessed that our plans were modest, just the swimming pool. Then she saved my day. She offered up her club’s pool and decided to join us.

Off we traveled to Lifetime Fitness. I signed in which was a total cluster and the kids jumped in the pool. Then a lifeguard approached me and informed me that if I didn’t plan on getting in the pool my kids would have to take a swim test. Part of me laughed inside because I was like, “Yeah, my son wants your job.” The other part of me was like, “Oh, I wonder if my other son will have performance anxiety about this.” But I offered them up he pulled them aside -- to another pool in fact -- and told them to swim a lap without stopping, touching the wall or rope, or needing help of any kind. Cooper jumped in, swam his lap, and started back toward the other pool. Mason started a negotiation. Then he methodically slipped into the pool and started swimming. Without a struggle he swam the full lap, climbed out of the pool then looked up at the guy (goggles still on) and shrugged his shoulders as if to say, “Is that all you got?”

Proud of those two. We may get Mason to do swim team, yet.

I also want to say, this is a brilliant system and I sincerely think more pools should have this rule. 

Trip No 4: A Traffic Jam

One of our field trips was to the city. Yes, I said it. We’ve become that suburban. Wanting to see our friends who had recently moved closer to downtown from the burbs we planned a dinner date at their house – two moms, five boys.

But something, I don’t know what, had traffic all snarly. A drive that literally takes 30 minutes turned into 90 minutes! Let’s review. Trapped in a tin can with two small boys. Dinner time. 90 minutes of snail pace movement.

It was an extraordinary reminder that I don’t like commuting at all.

Trip No 5: The Zoo, II

OK. I know what you’re thinking. Why? Because it is never the same. We met some friends and the weather was much better. We didn’t stay as long, but we saw more. It was great. Well, except for the part when the boy elephant let it all hang out – if you know what I mean. That was so uncomfortable. My boys couldn’t even laugh, they were horrified into silence.  Oh did I mention we were with friends, girl friends?!?!?!?

The most exciting part of the second zoo adventure was our license plate hunt. This is a game we play pretty much non-stop everywhere we go. But for some reason early in the trip we could tell we were going to have a record day. The object of the game is to find as many different states’ plates as possible. I don’t mean vanity plates or one state’s multiple versions. I mean different states. We saw 28! Also, there are a lot of Texans here.

Kickin' It Off

Our family vacation began with a 10+ hour drive through some of the most uninteresting part of God's green earth. Seriously, next to the Akmola Province of Kazakhstan, Wyoming is up there.
So it was nice of my parents to arrange for us to meet a herd of miniature horses and a donkey. This is screaming for me to make jack ass jokes. But, I can't.
Anyway, the mini horses were a hit. More so with one of our adorable nieces -- Claire -- but my boys mustered up the "that's cute" gene just long enough to feed the little things some hay. Which leads me to a kid-ism from the drive.Somewhere along the way we passed a pastoral scene replete with cows and hay bales. When we pointed out what was in the field outside his window Mason started to scream, in escalating tones, "Hey, Hay!" I believe this is called, making a connection. Very amusing to observe.

Not True

My husband let slip a little discontent yesterday, as he busied himself by loading our golf clubs in the car. He plainly complained, "I hate facebook. I think you put all our kid updates there instead of the blog." As my husband is one of the only people I know who is not on facebook (a wise man) he is unaware of the kinds of updates I post on facebook.

For his benefit, and to make a case, the past five updates are listed here:

~had a great time at Blackstone today... might need to make that our golf home.

~cried when the kindergarten teacher read Miss Bindergarten Celebrates the Last Day of Kindergarten.

~Lionel Messi, on the list.

~I bet you wish you were going with 100 kindergartners to the zoo. Did I mention torrential rain?

~grateful for the health of my family, humbled by the struggle in the path of friends.

Clearly drivel and holding not much more substance than the 100 or so characters each post amounted to. So the next question might be, where have the regular blog updates gone? I'll tell ya.

I have increased my volunteer hours at the elementary school by at least an hour a week, and in fact was there from 9 a.m. until 3 p.m. on Thursday.

(Cooper's first oral report, ever! Notice his sweet teacher trying to keep a straight face.)

It's golf season, and while my post-surgical return has been slow and disappointing I am golfing. In fact, I can attribute at least 10 hours to golf this past week. Naturally I'm planning on about that many next week, and the week after, and the week after...

(The boys at Hudson Gardens.)

The kids have gymnastics, tennis, swim lessons, and karate. They have fun, I drive. Enough said.

(Cooper at his first swim meet, wearing jammers in the smallest possible size.)

Swim team. What was I thinking?!?!?!!? Swim practice is suggested every day. This means I'm sitting at a practice, driving to a practice, or driving home from a practice about 10 hours a week. This says nothing of the hours I'm putting into washing swimsuits and towels, and packing swim bags and lunches.

I've also tried to open my eyes to the friends and family around me in need this month. I have had multiple friends undergo major surgical procedures. Two friends have happy, healthy babies. And I know and love three families who are facing major medical burdens. I haven't been a big help to them all... but I have cooked a lot of extra meals, covered for them when they needed it, driven their kids around, and spent a lovely afternoon photographing one special family and their son.

Finally, I have agreed to run in a Ragnar with my brothers. Because I want to be a force for that team, I'm adding some running time to my current workout schedule. (By being a force I mean I just don't want those buggers to make fun of me.)

(caught updating my facebook when i'm supposed to be playing with the kids,oooops)

I might be maxed out. It might be the reason I momentarily lost my oldest a few weekends ago. It might also be why there is a mysterious smell in my closet. And it most assuredly is why we have eaten pizza more than once a week for about a month.

So, sweet husband, we're not leaving you out. I'm just not getting to sit still in front of a computer more than an hour a week. Also, school is almost out. Which does mean it will get worse before it gets better, but it will get better.

Utah Via the Zoo

I don't know about you, but when I'm planning on spending a good 8-9 hours in a car, I first go to the zoo. And so commences another travelogue.


8:59 a.m.
Start the morning at Target for bribes, Costco for fuel, and Starbucks for other fuel. Mason talks non-stop for the next half hour. At one point I look in the rearview mirror and catch Cooper rolling his eyes.

9:30
Arrive at the Denver Zoo and embark on one of our least successful zoo trips, ever. Also, if I can say one thing about field trips on St. Patrick's Day: dressing in green is a sure fire way to loose your children. St. Patrick's Day also marked the first time Cooper showed his true male trait to collect everything he owns that is green and wear it all at once. He picked this ensemble, people, not me.

After much pleading from the boys to leave the zoo, we skip out on the field trip lunch and promptly get lost on or around Martin Luther King Blvd (warning: this link leads to a hilarious skit from Chris Rock, but contains language you might not appreciate).


11:30
Kids beg for Carl's Jr. By all means, if we're going to get fat on this vacation, we should get crackin'.

12:14 p.m.
Our first pullover; to find Buzz's head.

1:53
The children are not speaking to each other, or to me. They are assembling the LEGOs we purchased at Target. I stop for gas and cannot convince them to use the restroom. I even try to scare them into going by saying they will probably have to pee on the side of the road. (I'll come to discover this isn't considered a threat by any self-respecting boy.)


2:05
See the first of many scary billboards in Wyoming. This particular one says:

After you die, you will met God.

Well, isn't that nice. Is this the billboard media equivalent to a man wandering the street with underwear on the outside of his pants shouting, "The end is near!"? I'm just saying.

2:13
Mason asks when we are gong to get there. Sadly, in 6 hours and a few minutes.

3:16
Mason yells, "Mama! You forgot to let us pee on the side of the road!"

3:19
Pull of in Rawlins to ensure there is no peeing on side of road. Fall in line behind a truck pulling a trailer that appears to have a folded up dog on the back. That's right, a carcass of something larger than a dog but smaller than a horse, deflated and folded. The head was intact. Only in Wyoming.


3:45
Mason asks, again, "How long until grandma's house?"
Should I try to explain how far 286 miles is?

4:49
With much vexation Cooper puts the screws to me with, "When are we going to be out of the middle of nowhere?"

5:12
We enter the Green River Tunnel just as Cooper bellows, "I hate this!"

"I know," I try to soothe, "Would you feel better if you screamed or something?"

"No!" he demands, "I will only feel better if I get out of the car.

5:30
We stop at Little America and despite earlier gripes I have a hard time convincing the boys to get out of the car to use the restroom. They decline ice cream. So I begin to fret -- for the next 2.5 hours -- that something is wrong with them.

5:59
I notice the boys are being really sweet to each other. Cooper is actually reviewing Mason's LEGO instruction manual with him and showing him how to put together his project. I reach back to squeeze Coop's calf and tell him I love him because he is a good brother. This spurs Mason to ask, "Why do you love me?"

"Because you are sweet and give lots of kisses," I reply.

His eyes grow wide and he adds, "AND good hugs?"

"Yes," I assure, "And good hugs."

He smiles and coos, "That's why I love you."

Good to know.


8 p.m.
Arrive at Grandma and Grandpa's house.

All right... stay tuned this week to read some of my favorite quotes from the trip and our extended return travelogue. Here's a teaser... see photos... it really is THAT boring.

The Zoo, A Photo Essay By Cooper

Ah-hem. I am going away. I'll be back, perhaps by Monday. But for now I leave you with a photo essay by Cooper.

Another Zoo Funny

Sometimes you just have to suck it up and stand with the crowds to watch the crazy animal demonstrations. Which is how I found myself trying to keep three top-heavy little kids from flipping over the top railing into the Sea Lion habitat. We survived it and the kids genuinely enjoyed the tricks. Following the show the zoo keeper permitted kids to ask questions. Before I knew it even happened, Cooper's hand shot up and he asked why sea lions can jump so high.

That's not really that important. What's so amazing is how proud he was following the Q&A. He turned around with a gigantic smile and said, "Mom I asked a question!"

As we were walking away Mason asked me, "Where are the harder seals?" He meant Harbor Seals. I hope.

We Started with Suckers

I took three kids to the zoo. That's fun. On its own the carseats, lunches, backpacks, and respective lovies of each was a logistical challenge. There are mothers out there that do it all the time. I'm not one of them. I'm rusty, well, actually I'm not even rusty. I'm a rookie. But we survived and I didn't loose anyone, execept for the moments when I was dangerously close to misplacing my mind.

At the end of our hours and hours of walking beside the wagon, pulling the wagon, and pushing the wagon I succeeded in getting all three buckled into the carseats in my car. I turned around before starting up the car so I could look at their smiling faces and asked which of the animals they had seen today was their favorite.




Two answered the elephants, and the third something about a tiger.

That's funny. We didn't see elephants, nor a tiger. Zoo fail.

First Field Trip

Cooper went on his first field trip today. And Mason and I tagged along for the ride.

The train was popular, but not nearly as much as the snacks.
Mason had to check out the chicken butt, I knew that book would come back to haunt me.
Cooper looking all of 14, and not a day younger. (He did pick out his own outfit and dressed himself before 7 a.m. How's that for enthusiasm?)
He enjoyed the day this much...

A Little of This, and a Little of That

My parents came to see me this past weekend. All I can say is they got to see two extremes of our Spring weather. First there was a little of this -- actually a lot.





Then there was a little of this.






PS -- That was the first and last snowman my kids built this season.

Zoo Me

Earlier this year I decided our family was going to break up with the zoo. We have a membership and can go anytime our little hearts desire. But it turns out the little hearts that matter never desired to go to the zoo. I was over it, sick of paying for it, and was done.

But then someone spelled z-o-o in my ear and I thought, "hmmmm, we got nothing going on." And that's all it took. I'm in love with the zoo, again. (I guess by now you've figured out that it's a good thing I'm married because I should not date people. I'm always wanting to break up, then get back together again. It's a sick, sick cycle.)


I only took a few pictures I love that day. But my friend took lots of really cute ones. Go check out her adorable blog to see more.

Gaffs Are Gross

I'm always looking for a great "threat" by which to scare my children into brushing their teeth more expertly, efficiently, and often. When I saw opportunity for teethbrushing wisdom at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo I leapt at it. That particular zoo, this was our first visit, has a feed-the-giraffes experience. It's really quite spectacular (though certainly the most -- if not the only -- impressive thing at the zoo) and involves buying strange wafers, handing the wafers to your kids, and asking your kids to go up to the fence and feed the giraffes.

I mistakenly thought it would require that they actually stick the wafer through the fence. Oh no. The giraffes stick their gnarly black tongues through -- about 9 inches -- and snitch the wafers before the kids even know what has happened. (This is actually very funny and in the case of my temperamental Mason, cause for some serious pissed-off-ed-ness.)


As soon as I saw that big nasty tongue I told the kids their tongues would look like a giraffe tongue if they didn't brush their teeth. Mason winced. Cooper looked at me, then cocked his head ever so slightly (as if to mull over my credibility) then said, "Gaffs are gross!"

Photo Note: Ouch! Metal ants are kinda hot!

We had a great time and wrapped up the day with a ride in the zoo's chair lift. This was an activity that I didn't quite think through before plunging ahead. Two toddlers, one mama and a wet chair lift (it was raining). If you've ever been on a chair lift you know there are no seat belts or really any other restraining mechanisms except for a lap bar that doesn't really come anywhere near your lap. So, basically either kid could have slipped through quite easily at any time. Coop was a pro. He didn't budge and gripped the lap bar with just a hint of fear. Mason fell asleep, in my arms of course, and missed the whole thing. I wish I had some pictures of the chair lift thingy. But I really couldn't manage holding sleeping Mason, guarding Cooper from falling through the seat, and taking a picture. I'm crazy, just not that crazy.


Photo note: Mason thought the Howler monkey was a bit intimidating. Frankly, I wanted to strangle it, SOOOOOO loud.

One of Cooper's friends traveled with us to this zoo (road trip). She's darling and I couldn't resist taking this picture of the two of them sacked out in the car on the way home. It was a long day and they fell asleep nearly as soon as their little head's found a comfortable spot -- cheek to cheek.